-The cheapest, nastiest olive oil you can find -30 drops of lemon oil (to pucker their lips shut) -A heaping pinch of cinnamon (to make them choke) -A nasty portion of alum (to dry up their idiotic words) -A vile scoop of powdered mustard (so they gag on their own word vomit)
Mix it all together with nasty words and threats, with screaming and insults. Hiss at it, bare your teeth at it, put in all the disgust and malice and SHUT THE FUCK UP!-ness you can muster. Once the oil feels as rotten and vile as possible, roughly pour it into a jar/bottle with the words SHUT THE FUCK UP written all over the outside. Use it any time you want someone to shut the fuck up.
-make sure you use enough oil to keep the mixture to an oil-like consistency (you want to be able to pour/spread it around)-